So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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