After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
