She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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