but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
