omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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