We're like a lot better than the average bears
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
