either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
