doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
