Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
