You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
