Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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