I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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