I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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