These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
