2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
