Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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