yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
