Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
