I could have mohawked her pubes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
