Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
