ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
