he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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