I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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