Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
