Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am naked and annoyed.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
