I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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