I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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