He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
