What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
