Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
