She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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