It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
