all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
