Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
