I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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