Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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