all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
