Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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