Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
