his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
