how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
