Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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