just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
