i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You've changed since you got that strap on
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
