Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
