while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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