Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
