I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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