Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
