Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
