my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
