At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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