Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
