Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
