I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
